Trip down the rabbithole
by dkfar
Summary: The new SG1 team has to help some familar looking people. SG1 meets Farscape. When the team tries to stop the Orri in Beachhead, they get sucked down a wormhole to another reality and meet a living ship.....
1. Chapter 1

Stargate: Alternate ending to Beachhead.

Farscape: Post Peacekeeper Wars- a month afterward- Chiana watching D'Argo while Aeryn and John are making what was supposed to be a quick supply run.

(I'm testing out what people would prefer more, Mitchell and Vala being alternate reality versions of Crichton and Aeryn or that they are the same people with modified memories)

"Vala, you did it, the portal collapsing!" said Daniel as she rings back onto Prometheus

"Ah, guys we're getting some strange readings from the portal, airman get us away from here quick," said Carter

Prometheus gets pull in.

"Carter, what the hell is going on here! yells Mitchell.

After some twists down the wormhole the Prometheus comes flying out of wormhole almost crashing into an organic ship.

Cue Farscape Music...

On Moya:

Chiana get to command! A wormhole just appeared. said Pilot

Uh, Pilot, there's a ship coming out. Frell! We're going to hit! said Chiana

With a quick maneuver Moya just misses Prometheus, but then things get really interesting.

"Sir, we are detecting, well I don't know what to call it, I think its a ship of some sort," said airman.

"Tealc, Vala, does it look familiar to either of you," said Mitchell.

No it does not, very strange, said Tealc.

"Look like anything you've stolen Vala ?" said Daniel.

"No, but it appears we're not in the Orrin galaxy," replied Vala.

"The ship appears to be completely organic. I think its living creature used for space travel," said Carter.

"You got to be kidding me," said Mitchell. "Well, lets give them the old hello. I love this job new cultures and new peoples. This is Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell to unknown ship, please respond."

On Moya:

"Pilot, did I just hear who think I heard?" said Chiana

(In background-Always so formal Mitchell- I wonder who I should loosen up more you or Daniel, said Vala)

"Sounds like John and Aeryn, but why are they using different names?" said Chiana.

"Maybe they were brainwashed again," said Pilot.

Well whatever's going on D'Argo is really start to miss his parents. Right little guy. So we'd better get this cleared up quick.

Chiana turns on screen and responds.

"Hey John, Aeryn, where were you? "Thank the gods you're back Aeryn, we were almost out of milk for D'Argo and the little narl's as stubborn as the two of you."

"Aeryn? John? My name is Lt. Colonel Cameron Mitchell and the woman over here is named Vala Mal Doran," said Mitchell.

Daniel steps up, "I'm Daniel Jackson. We're from the Taur'i, and we just stopped an Orrin device."

"The name's Chiana and I've never heard of Taur'i," said Chiana

"Carter, Tealc any ideas?" said Daniel. "Ever heard of Earth, the SGC?"

"Earth? Frell what are bunch humans doing with ship like this we only left Earth about year ago?" said Chiana. Maybe its the frelling Ancients again, if have you something to do with the Ancients we don't want it. They've frelled with our heads and caused us enough pain to last a lifetime.

"You know about the Ancients?" Daniel said

"While I'm sure this all fascinating, you just implied I have baby to feed. What's going on!" said Vala.

"Yeah, you act like you know us," said Mitchell

"Hmmm, I think you guys had better come over, I might be explain, I hope" said Chiana.

After a quick discussion- SG1 and Vala land in Moya.

Pilot, getting the DRDS ready, just in case, said Chiana.

Shuttle lands

Aeryn, John! Chiana runs to hug them. "This little narl was getting cranky waiting for you. Must take after his mother." said Chiana.

"I'm sorry we don't know you," said Mitchell.

"Have you done something to them?" Chiana pointing to Daniel, Tealc, and Carter

"No, Lt Colonel Mitchell has been with the SG1 for a few months and spent the previous year in recuperation from battle," said Tealc.

"Vala meanwhile has only been annoying us for a few months," said Daniel

"Thanks Daniel," said Vala.

Ahummm.. said Carter

"Maybe this will help, ever heard of alternate realities?" said Carter.

"Yeah, Crichton had to enter one a few months back to find Aeryn," said Chiana

"Vala, when you transported over at the last minute, you must have interfered with portal collapse, but why are we here precisely?" said Carter.

"A, guys did you any of you see a weird bug appear for a sec when we went down the rabbit hole?" said Mitchell.

"Weird bug? Frell it was the Ancients," said Chiana.

"Could you tell us more about your Mitchell and Vala (I mean John and Aeryn)," said Daniel.

Crichton, a bit of a scientist- A wormhole dragged his module from Earth to the Uncharted Territories over four years ago. Nice guy, Ancients messed with his head a few years back and made him the most sought after fugitive in the Universe. Aeryn's a former Peacekeeper soldier. Tough as hell, I think Crichton just wore her down with his human idiosyncrasies until she became a normal person. Now those two can take on anyone in the Uncharted Territories, but their great friends. But they are 3 weeks overdue. And this little guy is D'Argo Sun Crichton, their son. Chiana says tickling him.

Message from Prometheus-

Sir, we are detecting another ship.

Kalish voice- "Pilot of Moya we demand you hand over D'Argo Crichton or Moya will be destroyed."

"Who are they?" Daniel said.

"Trouble, I guess we know what happened to John and Aeryn. The Kalish must have captured them. Pilot prepare for emergency starburst," said Chiana.

"Whoa, Whoa wait we've got the pride the United State Air Force outside, maybe we can talk. This is Lt. Colonel Mitchell of Stargate Command. Moya and D'Argo Crichton are under our protection. Withdraw or be destroyed," said Mitchell.

"Crichton! Must be a trick," said Kalish commander.

Kalish ship attacks, and Prometheus responds.

"Sir, we are having trouble the ship's well shielded and its launching fighters," said airman.

"Launch our fighters," said Captain Ellis of Prometheus.

"Chiana, you have anything on Moya that can fight back? said Mitchell.

"Yeah, Aeryn and John's prowlers," said Chiana.

"Tealc, would you do me the honors. Vala, you and Daniel better stay here, can't risk you too getting separated," said Mitchell.

"Chiana, exactly who are the Kalish? asked Carter.

They're a subject race of Scarrans," and were hoping for their freedom during the big Peacekeeper-Scarran War, but Crichton ended the war with a huge wormhole before half the galaxy could get destroyed. said Chiana

After some fierce fighting the Kalish ships are forced to withdraw.

(Looking at D'Argo), "You know that baby does look a little like you," said Daniel

Yes Daniel, See I was telling the truth, sort of, it appears I was pregnant, just not exactly me," said Vala.

"You guys bicker like John and Aeryn and you look like a bit like him. Are you or Mitchell available?" said Chiana looking seductively at Daniel.

"Ahrrummm, now we've got two Vala," said Carter trying to break the sexual tension as Mitchell and Tealc walk in.

Any answers, Carter? said Mitchell


	2. Chapter 2

(I've never written full length fictional story with dialogue- so I apologize ahead of time, I know Farscaape a lot better than Stargate, so most of the injokes will farscape related)

"Well, besides trying to stop Daniel and Vala from bickering. I believe this definitely has to be alternate reality. While comparable to the weapons of our allies and enemies, the energy signatures of those enemy ships was quite different, and we have never encountered organic technology of this scale (hand motioning around Moya) before. Lastly these "Ancients," that Chiana mentioned are large bug lifeforms who have taken personal action in this and possibly other realities," said Carter. "I think these Ancients might be the reason why we are here. Cameron, you said you saw one, Did it do or say anything.'

"It just gave me strange look of recognition, took a look at the rest of us, especially Vala," said Cameron, "And it said, "You should do."

"Frell, Aeryn and John must be in serious trouble, the only time the Ancients get involved is when someone thinks they have the whole wormhole weapon figured out," said Chiana.

"Sam, are you saying we were taken from our reality for a rescue mission, Jack's going pissed," said Daniel. " Vala, I don't believe it (hand on forehead), now instead of preventing a rescue mission you gave us one."

"It's not my fault, but think of all the new worlds you can explore," said Vala.

"You guys, sure don't know Aeryn and John," said Chiana laughing. "It's always John's fault."

"Dr Jackson, it does not matter whose fault it is, but we have to save this reality and get this kid's parents back (pointing to D'Argo). I love this job." said Cameron

"I concur, Colonel Carter, Ouch what was that," said Tealc.

"Sorry, but if you not from this reality, you are going to need microbes to understand everyone," said Chiana.

"Microbes!" SG1 and Vala

"The colonize at the brain stem and allow you to understand anyone's conversation, I might be able to speak English, but the only two people in the Uncharted territories who understand are John and Aeryn," said Chiana.

"Just another thing, for Doctor Lam to probe us for, now can we get back to why we're here to save Vala and me alternative selves," said Cameron. "Any idea where to find us?"

"Chiana?" said Sam.

"If its the Kalish, it means going into Scarran territory," said Chiana. "At least this time we have some firepower on our hands. That ship of yours might be able to take on a Scarran Dreadnought. We are going to have be sneaky at first, neither the Scarrans or Peacekeepers will be happy about an advanced human warship. Pilot, where's the nearest Scarran outpost, and you better not say Katrazi."

"Wait, we destroyed some enemy fighters, we might be able to find your friends from them," said Carter. "I'll need access to your computers if you don't mind."

"Usually, I'd say no, but I'm the only one on Moya, except for Pilot, and we need to rescue John and Aeryn before anyone goes insane," said Chiana. "I'll help the rest of you settle in (pointing to SG1 and Vala).

"Tealc could you bring the remains of an enemy fighter into Moya's landing bay?"

"No problem, Sam," said Tealc.

(Chiana giving Vala, Daniel and Cameron a tour- a few arns later)

Well, I must admit you people have different names, but some things are the same. Vala, you're into leather like Aeryn. Can you paralyze a man in five seconds? said Chiana.

"Yes, both ways," (winking at Daniel) said Vala. "You should have seen how I stole Prometheus and knocked out Daniel."

"Hahaha. I think Aeryn might have to knock out John when he sees you" said Chiana. "Cameron, your not a scientist at all?"

"No just a soldier, but for this job you also need to know some physics (waiving his hands around).

"Well, you look just like Crichton, and Daniel, you could be his brother. Vala, you're not with Daniel are you? said Chiana

"Nope, but this Cameron's double might be some fun," said Vala

"Hey Daniel, is it just me or do you feel your a walking steak right now," said Cameron.

"Cameron, just keep walking," said Daniel

"Oh, come on, us girls could use some fun, right Vala?" said Chiana

"Where's an evil alien menace when u need one?" said Daniel

"Don't worry with our luck we'll have one soon," said Chiana somewhat sadly.

(Carter call thems)

"Guys, Tealc and I have something, this fighter has some dust encrusted on it and the chemical composition matches only 5 planets in this sector. Only two of them have a known Scarran presence, Gortav and Nixou." said Carter.

"Dust on a Kalish fighter? Silkozu was so obsessive and obnoxious that it has to be trap," said Chiana.

"It might be, sounds like some of the stuff our enemies have pulled, but I doubt these Kalish thought Moya would have some major firepower backing her up," said Daniel. "Any ideas on how we should do this guys?"

"Well, we can minimize the risk by having Prometheus stay in the shadow of each planet's moon, and just in range of Moya for our transporters," said Carter.

Captain Ellis also has two platoons of SG1 space marines, and can them launch from modified Alkesh and be on the planet without 10 minutes of touble, said Tealce

"Chiana you know this sector better than any of us and Vala your expert of illicit activities, any idea on disguises and the team?" said Cameron.

"We want them to notice us a little so we can jump them, so I'll be my sexy self (eyeing Cameron)," said Chiana.

"Sebaceans are just subspecies of humans. After the war, Crichton decided to annoy Aeryn by giving them one of his weird human names Homo _sebaceus_, so it should be easy for you guys to blend in," said Chiana. Vala, you'll have to change your outfit, the only people who wear black leather around here are Peacekeepers, and if we find Crichton and Aeryn (eyeing Vala's outfit) she might fight you. She's very possessive of him."

"How about I pretend to be very rich, and Daniel and Cameron can be my servants," said Vala smiling.

"No way, we've seen you on a power trip," said Daniel

(Ships then sudden appear and all hell breaks loose)

"Chiana, I'm reading one Peacekeeper command carrier," said Pilot

"Are these the bad guys right now?" said Cameron

"Frell, we'll see, just tell your ship to get ready for a fight," said Chiana

"Chiana, we're getting transmission,... its Scorpius," said Pilot gasping.

"Frell, frell, frell, you guys came through a wormhole, Scorpius' been monitoring wormhole activity for years," said Chiana. Vala, Cameron, keeps heads down and don't say anything, we don't want Scorpius getting his hands on another Crichton.

(Transmission coming through)

"Ah, Chiana where is Crichton?" said Scorpius

Too busy frelling Aeryn, said Chiana with a look defiance

While I all too familiar with those two passions, quit the charade, I know all about the Kalish research, and I need to speak to Critchon, said Scorpius. "Besides, this wormhole, we detected a battle in progress including Kalish ships. Whose ships are these (pointing to his window and the Prometheus and its fighters?" I notice English writing on that ship, did Crichton lie about his loss of wormhole knowledge and find Earth again.

"Frell," said Chiana

:Chiana, we do not mean any harm, said Scorpius." The Eidilons have since informed High Command of the origins of Sebaceans, and Command is actually interested in contacting Earth for genetic material. They would like to invite Earth to join with the Peacekeepers since it would allow more genetic variation in our ranks and possible cure us of our problem with excessive heat. My ship is standing down, I would like to meet with Crichton, Officer Sun and member of this Earth ship on Moya in say half an arn.

"Chiana, you know this Scorpius, what do you suggest," said Sam.

"We meet the creepy frellnik and if he gives us trouble, he gets a taste of what would Crichton say, "Good old American know how," said Chiana.


	3. Chapter 3

Scorpius arrives on Moya.

"Ah, Chiana so where is Crichton and Officer Sun?" said Scorpius

"Busy at the moment. I would like to introduce you to Lt. Colonel Samantha Carter and Tealc of Stargate Command," said Chiana.

"Well I'm very surprised, Earth should not have the level of technology your ship has? Are you from an alternate reality?" said Scorpius with standard pointed arrogance.

"Frell," said Chiana.

"Chiana, you do remember that Crichton and I visited another reality to find Officer Sun. It is quite possible that another Crichton has figured out wormholes," said Scorpius.

"This guy's reminds me of Anubis and Baal," said Sam quietly to Tealc.

"Be careful, Sam," said Tealc

"Well, Mr. Scorpius, we are from a parallel universe, but we came here because we stopped some religious fanatics from opening one wormhole and got sucked down another." said Sam.

"Interesting, Now please where are Crichton and Officer Sun!" said Scorpius

Mitchell and Vala walk in with Daniel trailing

"Chiana are you trying to trick me, these people must be from the alternate reality. I know their energy signatures and Crichton's taste," said Scorpius with tinge of Hannibal Lector.

"Sorry where we're fresh out of Chianti," said Cameron. "So Leatherface what do you want?"

"What I always want, John, wormholes and the supremacy of the Sebacean race," said Scorpius

"The name's Colonel Cameron Mitchell and the woman is Vala Mal Doran," said Cameron. "Let's lay our cards on the table. I'm guessing from what I heard from Chiana's that you're a mad scientist with a powerful fleet to back up you. You're afraid someone else has beat you to the whole wormhole quest, and you need the great John Crichton, master of wormholes, to stop a new power from rising, right?"

"Actually, I would very much would like to see the Kalish rise up and crush the Scarrans, but I am afraid what they will do once they have the power of wormholes. John, by himself, destroyed half the Peacekeeper and Scarran fleets and a planet in just one action. That power is simply to great for anyone, especially one who have just overthrown their oppressors, even the highly intelligent Kalish. I am guessing that your people, might know something about wormholes, and neither the Scarrans or Kalish will be expecting a force of humans with advanced weapons so we might be some of help to each other.

"Why should we even get involved?" said Cameron

"Because whether or not you are very much like Crichton and the fact that Crichton is not here incessantly arguing makes me suspect the Kalish already have Officer Sun and him," said Scorpius" "I know the territory and might also help you with my own knowledge to return home."

"Chiana, you know Nosforatu, what do you think?" said Cameron

"While he is sly, evil, and caused us enough pain for lifetimes, he does know the area, people, and has a sort sick sense of attachment to John. I say we let him come, but we keep him guarded." said Chiana.

"Chiana, I must insist in bring over some of my prowlers and a marauder, even if your Earth forces are good, they have never faced the Scarran or Kalish and their allies." said Scorpius.

"Four prowlers and they'll be docked with several of the Earth fighters. That okay with everyone?" said Chiana.

"Fine, but I insist on visiting your Earth ship. Its called Prometheus. You, humans always naming everything" said Scorpius.

"Sorry, Scorpius we all have our secrets," said Sam "Tealc, will supervise the ship transfers."

While Scorpius is away with Tealc…

"Daniel, any luck translating Sebacean?" said Sam. I don't trust Scorpius and we'll need any advantage we can get.

"Yeah, he reminds me Anubis, but… civil," said Daniel. The language does have some links to predynastic Egyptian. It justifies the claims that Sebacean and humans are related.

"I wish Jool was here, the Eidolons on Arnessk, who brought Sebaceans from Earth, had a bunch of stuff Crichton said reminded him of Egypt," said Chiana.

"Hmmmm.. In this dimension the Goal'ud may have never existed and these Eidolons essentially replaced them in human history," said Daniel. "I wonder how much this universe parallels ours and yet differs."

"Daniel, while I'm sure this all fascinating, we need to get focused," said Vala. "We are currently trapped in another dimension with creature who could scare Baal. An alien race is currently seeking weapon that can destroy the galaxy and are torturing my beautiful alternate self and Cameron. And more importantly, IF WE DON'T RESCUE THEM, I'LL HAVE TO BE SOME KID'S MOTHER! It kinda spoils the old seduce and steal business."

Meanwhile… Scorpius and Tealc

"So your name is Tealc quite unusual for human. What is that symbol on your head?" said Scorpius.

"It is the mark of the false god Apolphis who I once served," said Tealc. He and many of his enslaving Goal'd are dead because of the efforts of the Tauri." My people are now free Jaffa and it would be unwise to mess with Tauri or my people.

"Shame you never meant Ka Dargo, the two of you would have a great act, the old destroy the evil oppressors routine," said Scorpius. "What are these Goal'd you've been cursing, they sound like a most fascinating race.." Scorpius smiling and trying to get on Tealc's nerves.

"Keep moving or you'll live to regret it," said Tealc

"Yes, definitely Ka'Dargo," said Scorpius. "I wonder what my alternate looks like. Maybe all the alternates are bland humans."

Two days later in orbit of the planet Nixou

"Here's the plan guys, Chiana, Daniel Tealc, Sam, and a few of our marines will do a recon on the planet, since Chiana knows the area and hopeful no one's every met Tealc and Sam's alternates, said Cameron. Once we get an idea of what's going Vala, "Dr. Lector" (pointing to Scorpius), and me will come join with you guys on the marauder. The Prometheus will hide in the shadow of the two moons and if we need to call her for help, we'll claim we belong to some Sebecean colony's no one' heard of it. If the Prometheus can't handle it we use the command carrier for addition support, but only as the last resort.

"Interesting, but good plan, Colonel Mitchell," said Tealc "How did you come up with it?"

"Oh, I found Crichton's journal," said Cameron. "Some bizarre stuff, Vala you've been killed once in this dimension, by a Scorpius controlled crazy me. I was even doubled only to one copy get killed, and that's just for starters. More importantly, the Peacekeepers sound like if the UN's troops decided to become space Nazis, the Scarrans are your basic evil reptile dinosaur like conquering race, and the Kalish are so arrogant and intellectual they make Daniel and Sam seem like they've been on magic mushrooms for years.

"Wait, we are going based on plan inspired by man who's known to have gone crazy at least once and its going to be executed by his alternate double," said Daniel. "Anyone see a problem with this?"

"In Crichton's case it almost works out in the end, and this we have a saner cuter, Crichton to help us," said Chiana eyeing him seductively.

(Don't worry no more back story-it times for guns and battles in the next chapter"


	4. Chapter 4

Four arns after reaching Nixou

Over the sound of pulse blasts in a market place - "Ah, Colonel Mitchell we have a slight problem!" said Chiana. "Some Kalish got a good look at Daniel and thought Crichton escaped! We're pinned down in a side street. Frell, I hate when they do that (Chiana shoots at some Kalish running sideways down a wall)"

"Did you guys get an idea where me, I mean, where Crichton and Aeryn are?" said Mitchell.

"This is Carter, yeah on the off chance that Crichton and Aeryn were exact doubles of you and Vala, I used a DNA scanner we have encoded for SG people to narrow the search area." said Carter as she ducks under a barricade.

"The SG has scanners that good?" said Mitchell.

"Its only been configured for a few people so far, including the SG1 team, we've been captured or lost so many times, General Hammond made it priority before he left." said Carter.

"Helps on the way, I'm going have the Prometheus use its transporters and we'll trap them," said Mitchell.

(A few minutes later)

"Follow the sounds of pulse blasts and bullets!" said Mitchell. Running from wall to wall firing like madman. "We have to take out these bastards before more of their friends arrive."

"And I thought John was crazy," said Scorpius as he carefully blows away Kalish after Kalish. "Idiots don't realize my suit's blast proof."

"Can I have one? I wish I still had my super soldier armor" said Vala acting a bit more cautiously jumping behind a cart.

(After about dozen shot up Kalish and three marine)

"Sir, they're bugging out," said a marine.

"You guys okay?" said Mitchell.

"We got a few minor wounded including Tealc, but we're okay." said Carter.

"Big guy, you alright?" said Mitchell.

"Yes, Miss Chiana, will you please get off of me, I heal more easily than normal humans." said a little frustrated Tealc.

"You know Scorpius might have a point, you do feel a bit like D'argo" said Chiana seductively.

(Over the comms) This is the Prometheus, Colonel Mitchell, we're picking up two ships leaving the surface one of them matches the profile of that large ship we tangled with earlier and the other appears to be a transport," said Captain Pentergast.

"Go for the transport and see if you can use your scanners and transporters to pick up Crichton and Aeryn. Scorpius is your command carrier in position?" said Mitchell.

"Braca, come about and an attack the carrier. We can't let the humans win this battle for us, it should be already damaged." said Scorpius.

As the carrier and Prometheus slips from behind the two moons the Kalish warship is caught completely surprise.

"Ready frag cannons, launch prowlers!" said Braca. Fire!

"All guns and beams ready, sir" said an airman.

"Fire!" said Pentergast.

"The transport's shields are falling, I'm reading two human lifesigns, one's Mitchell's." said airman.

"You heard that Novak?" said Pentergast.

"Transporting them now sir," said Novak.

"What's the status of the Kalish warship?" said Pentergast.

"I'm reading hull breaches and secondary explosions throughout, those frag cannons are powerful sir," said an airman.

"Braca, I want marauders to seize that ship before the humans use those transporters to take it from us," said Scorpius.

(Meanwhile on Prometheus with a flash)

"Ah, Aeryn when we did get abducted by Star Trek?" said Mitchell in the transporter room.

"Hello, I'm Sergeant Harriman of the United States Air Force, you're safe Commander Crichton, Officer Sun." said Harriman

"UNITED STATES AIRFORCE!" said Crichton. Okay who is frelling with us now?

"If you would just step off, the next people should explain everything." said Harriman.

(Vala, Mitchell, Daniel, Scorpius, and Teac appear)

-Next Chapter- "So how frelled up are we in your universe- Crichton"


End file.
